CUTE! Senator Who Represents Like 11 People Has An Opinion
“I’m voting against it,” said a Senator who represents about half a soccer team in a press conference Tuesday afternoon.
The Senator, discussing a bill which would raise taxes on the wealthy to fund child cancer research, wasted no time tearing into the legislative process. “I wasn’t sent to Washington to raise taxes. I was sent to speak for the forgotten American as well as the crickets, chickens and hawks that my state counts for census purposes.”
The Senator is currrently serving a third term. He was re-elected in a landslide this fall when someone’s car broke down and three people couldn’t make it to the polls.
Without the Senator’s support, the bill appears unlikely to pass.