Phonebanking Script For The Kanye West Presidential Campaign

Thank you for volunteering for the Kanye West for President™ campaign. Please follow the script below when speaking to voters.

Hello (voter name) my name is (your name) with the Kanye West for President™ campaign.

Do you have a moment to talk about your preference for the 2020 election?

(If yes): Great!

(If no): Well, ok, but…

Would you like to make America harder, better, faster or stronger?

(If yes): Great! Would you consider putting the pussy in a sarcophagus?

(If no): Let me put it this way: Mr. West has 21 Grammy awards. America has 4,018 nuclear weapons. What do you think of that?

Thank you for your thoughts. Is there anything else you’d like to ask me? Perhaps about the production schedule for his seminal album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy?

(If yes): It’s interesting to note that Kid Cudi reportedly didn’t play basketball with the other artists invited to the Hawaii sessions yet he has some of the better features on the album. What could this say about his identity as an artist and Mr. West’s collaborative instincts?

(If no): Are you not a fan of maximalist pop?

Thank you for your thoughts. Remember to write in Kanye West for President. This is our chance to elect Kanye West for President. He will be the first Kanye West President in history.

(**!!WHISPER THIS PART!!**): Paid for by the Republican National Committee.