Joseph Kennedy IV Announces 2056 Senate Run

“My platform will probably be robots,” says Joseph Kennedy IV, 9, who declared this morning his intention to run for Senate in Massachusets in 2056. His father, former Congressman Joe Kennedy III, lost a primary Tuesday in what is widely seen as the “end” of the Kennedy dynasty.

Joe IV, who holds a fourth grade certificate in multiplication and cleaning up, disagrees. “Oh I’ll win for sure. I’ll just give the voting people chocolate and stuff.”

He joins a crowded 2056 Democratic Senate Primary which already includes several holograms and, somehow, Barney Frank.