Member-only story
Help! I Think My Wife Is A Non-Fungible Token
She’s unique, and I’m suspicious.
Dear Abbey,
My wife is the love of my life. Sadly, I have recently concluded that she is a non-fungible token. My suspicions were first aroused when I would say “honey, let’s go to town, grab the keys — you’re fungible, right?” and she couldn’t even look me in the eyes.
At first, I chalked it up to nerves. We are newly married, working new careers in a new town. Anyone would struggle to be fungible in such a context..right?
I’ve always considered myself lucky to be with her. She is kind, intelligent, and beautiful. That’s when it hit me: she’s one in a million. Unique. Exactly like a non-fungible token!
Non-fungibility is a non-starter, for me. I always pictured myself growing old with a non-non-fungible token. It seems like our entire fungible future is in doubt.
My close friends don’t understand my concerns, literally. They don’t know what non-fungible tokens are. They don’t seem to care that a digital image of Yoshi eating a burrito sold for $5 million in bitcoin last week to a Danish blood baron. Frankly this makes me suspect them as well, but that’s for another letter…
Abbey — what do I do?
Sincerely,
VERY Fungible Jeff
