Guy Who Tried To Vote Twice Tries To Turn Self In Twice

Florida man Andrew Long, 46, turned himself into the Miami-Dade Police Department late Saturday evening. Newly filed court documents indicate that he admitted to attempting to vote twice in the recent election.

“We’re thankful Mr. Long came forward,” said Lt. Shane Martin. “Though his second attempt to vote was in fact not successful, we appreciate his honesty and will be seeking a minimum sentence, likely a fine.”

Shortly after being released, sources say, Mr. Long turned himself in to a different police department.

“We were initially glad that Mr. Long came forward,” said Lt. James Smith of the Broward County Sheriff’s Office. When Broward officials attempted to book him, internal systems flagged that Mr. Long had already entered a guilty plea in Miami-Dade.

“Though we’ve confirmed that his second attempt to vote was in fact not counted in reported vote totals, we can confirm that his second attempt to turn himself in for his second attempt to vote was unfortunately successful, a crime for which he was arrested a third time.”

Mr. Long is currently being held at the Broward County Jail, pending trial. Reached through his court appointed attorney, he asked that interview requests go through his other court appointed attorney, who could not be reached.

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Max Barth - maxbarth.substack.com

comedian, writer (The New Yorker, Reductress, The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Slackjaw, Points In Case), Libra moon. All my stuff: maxbarthcomedy.com