Feel Old? All Your Favorite Battle Bots Have PTSD

Battle Bots, the televised “robot battle” competition that aired on SpikeTV or something in the 1990s, was an unlikely hit.

“It really bridged the gap,” says Suzanna L’Orange, who created the show. “We wanted casual science and engineering fans as well as sweaty guys with leather bracelets to enjoy a show, and we succeeded with Battle Bots.”

The title of the British show on which it was based, Bots That Also Happen To Battle Each Other As Well, was shortened for an American audience. The concept was otherwise unchanged, and ratings soared. “People like to see robotic mayhem, and justice for the bad robots that hurt them,” says L’Orange, whose family coincidentally was murdered by a blender in 1987.

Her company, L’Orange You Glad Entertainment, is facing a wave of legal action as robots who competed on the show have begun to struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder.

“BioHazard, Diesector and Fork-N-Stein were first to go public,” says Julie Nobuck, an attorney representing multiple heavyweight robots who competed in the league. “Ziggo and LockJaw 2.0 can barely function.”

“I didn’t need to keep going in that final round, ripping the motherboard out [of my opponent] with my circular saw in front of everybody. It haunts me.” Blendo. Heavyweight Champion 1999.

The class action suit filed Tuesday seeks millions in damages for approximately one hundred robot gladiators. “You tell me how a robot like Blendo is supposed to function in society after what it went through,” says Nobuck. “They underpaid these robots and there was no plan for after-care.”

As of press time Battle Bots has responded, challenging Nobuck’s clients to a “no-holds-barred free for all” in the parking lot of a Lowe’s. “Let’s see how these clunkers feel facing the Judge, Jury and Executioner (three toasters with guns taped to them that compete as a team).”



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Max Barth

Max Barth

comedian, writer (Reductress, The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Slackjaw, Points In Case), Libra moon. All my stuff: https://linktr.ee/MaxBarth