After Four Years Of Trump, No One Should Be Surprised I Still Can’t Spell “Deutsche Bank”

Deusthce Bank. Doyche Bank. DOUTCHE. DEUETSCHE. Is that it? Holy shit is that right? No, fuck. There’s the little red line. Goddamn it. Fuck shit. Doutsche. I’m 31. I read. Fuck. Deushtshe. Ok there is a D, definitely.

D.

De. Right? Denmark? Germany? I know those are different places. I’m not that stupid. Isn’t DE a thing in video games? Like if you play someone from Germany doesn’t it say DE next to their name? Am I hallucinating? Oh god I’m sweating. I can’t google it. I refuse. I must have learned this by now. It’s been all over the news. Duetche Bank. FUCK.

Ok. Count to ten.

Just breathe.

You’ve got this.

Breathe and type.

DEUTSCHE. DONNY DEUTSCHE. Scarborogh’s little brother guy on MSNBC. FUCK. SCARBOURGHOUH. SCARBOROUGH. Oh god these don’t even look like letters anymore. I refuse to look it up.

Look — it’s been a long four years, ok?

Deutsche. Deutsche Bank. Holy shit I did it! Fuck. I am a wonderkind. Wunderkend. FUCK.