10 Habits Of Highly Successful Sole Survivors Of Suspicious Mansion Fires

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By now, I’m used to the questions: “how is your father?” and “so, does that mean it’s your yacht now?” and, most painfully, “why weren’t you at the funeral?”

I’ve become something of an authority on the subject of thriving after tragedy, in my case a deadly fire on my family’s estate that absolutely no one could have prevented or foreseen. Trust me.

Here is how I — the sole survivor of an admittedly suspicious mansion fire — have succeeded in the face of incalculable personal loss (and quite calculable financial gain). Others in my position have allegedly done similarly, and I’ve collected our advice below:

1. We forgive. I never join in when others blame our butler, though it would certainly be easy to do so, since the man didn’t survive anyway and highly incriminating letters were found in his possession which disparaged the family. Yet the most successful sole survivors of suspicious mansion fires must let bygones be bygones, especially when said bygones were disgruntled employees clearly prone to paranoiac fantasy.
2. We network. Though tempted to “go it alone” thanks to our terribly inherited fortunes, highly successful sole survivors of suspicious mansion fires shouldn’t be afraid of asking for help. Many of us research potential associates for…