10 Daily Affirmations That Totally Gloss Over Imminent Climate Collapse

Close your eyes and repeat after me. Then keep your eyes closed.

photo Kelvin Valerio /Guillaume Falco

1. I am safe. I am secure. I am above sea level, of course.
2. I am an unstoppable force of nature, which is always a good thing.
3. My success is inevitable. Even if I radically changed my behavior today, it would still happen. There’s nothing I can do at this point.
4. I inhale positivity and exhale love, kindness and a negligible amount of carbon dioxide.
5. My immortal soul radiates from the inside and warms others, particularly in the Northern Hemisphere.
6. I live in harmony with the four completely different and permanent seasons.
7. I dig deep for what I want. I frack for joy.
8. I embrace the present. I do not worry about the future, as there is no way to scientifically predict it with a high degree of certitude using data from multiple independent sources. All we have is now.
9. My fear of the unknown is melting away. Little by little, day by day. All the time. Drip drip drip.
10. I am allowed to take up space, and I am allowed to drive around my space in my 2021 Bugati Chiron Pur Sport which gets 10 miles to the gallon.